DirectTV with Kirk, Spock, & Chekov

With the new Star Trek in theaters, I decided to do one month of Star Trek commercials starting with this one. Back in the day, DirectTV used to do these movie theme commercials where they actually hired the actual actors for whatever movie they were in and are used as a theme for the ads. Here’s how the ads go, it starts off with a clip or reinactment of a movie we all know and then we immediately know it’s a bogus clip when one of the characters starts bragging about DirectTV and what it has to offer. So now for the summary of the commercial.

We start with the Enterprise in space being pursued by a Klingon Bird of Prey. We cut to the interior of the Enterprise to see Captain Kirk entering the bridge. Pavel Chekov suggests to Kirk that they raise shields. Kirk however tells Chekov to take it easy and expresses how he should relax and enjoy the new HD input they put into the Enterprises’ view screen. As we see the Bird of Prey firing up its laser on the screen, but we never see the ship fire the Enterprise so it was probably a misfire. Then he leaves the bridge suggesting that Starfleet should tone up the HD processers on all Starfleet ships otherwise it be illogical to not do so. Spock didn’t like how he didn’t get to say his line, and Kirk all goes “What I can’t use that line?” as he goes down the elevator. Yeah it’s all cool if Kirk doesn’t see hostile Klingons to be any threat to the ship. Then the commercial ends with the theme of the earlier Star Trek movies being played.

This commercial takes place somewhere between the second movie and the six movie as hinted by the red jacket uniforms that the characters wore in their later years in Starfleet. Not many of the original cast members are seen in this commercial either due to pay check issues or didn’t want to wear the uniforms again. This is probably the last time that William Shatner will portray James Kirk, as the role of the character was taken over by Chris Pine for the Star Trek reboot franchise reintroducing the franchise to a newer generation and paying tribute to the old series. Keep in mind that this commercial aired in the mid 2000s, so it was slightly before J.J. Abrams came along to revive the series with a movie the borrows elements from the original series but present it in a whole new way. Those movies are really good so far, as it makes me curious what future movies or shows it will bring about. For me, I’m most interested in seeing if they’ll do a series of Next Generation movies after they finish up with the original Star Trek movies for the reboot franchise.

OnStar with Batman

After seeing Dark Knight Rises some time ago in theaters, I decided to do an article on an old series of Batman related commercials. In this case an OnStar commercial series all focused on Batman. These were made back when the OnStar car system was first showing up in various car models. It also either has clips of the first four Batman films or using look-alike actors for the commercials themselves. They aired back in the year 2000, while I don’t remember seeing them on TV, they are so cool I just have to do an article on them. So let’s talk about each of the commercials of OnStar Batman.

For the first commercial we see Batman observing the city of Gotham on top of a skyscraper. He then activates his wrist phone by pressing the speed dial to the OnStar hot line. He asked the OnStar operator to unlock his Batmobile and then takes a leap off of the skyscraper. And uses his cape as a parachute to get right into his now unlocked Batmobile, the hatch opens up and Batman is now ready to get rolling in his car. However he’s running low on fuel so he activates his Batmobile’s OnStar button and says he’s running low on Jet Fuel. The operator informs him that the nearest station is 2 miles from where he’s located. Then the commercial ends with the OnStar commercial along with its official website. Before I discuss the next commercial I like to point out a few thing wrong with this commercial. 1. Why would Batman install OnStar to his Batmobile, when it has its own GPS, voice command, and does things no normal car can’t do. I doubt he would likely to have his Batmobile on record at OnStar when there’s a chance a villain might invade the OnStar HQ and some how got access to the lock command that is link to the Batmobile. 2. Does Batman as well as his alias Bruce Wayne own separate accounts? Since he’s rich, it wouldn’t be a problem to pay for two accounts. But like the previous statement there’s no need for him to install an OnStar feature to the Batmobile when he owns plenty of other cars to install one in. And 3. what gas station would sell jet fuel, when an air port, air force, and space center are the only locations to obtain jet fuel. Also he has his own supply of jet fuel at the bat cave, he wouldn’t need to worry about going to any gas station when he’s rich enough to obtain fuel for both his Batmobile and his car collection. I maybe nitpicking this a little too much, but it almost bothers me to not mention any of these errors out loud. With that said on to the next commercial.

Now this one features a little more action than the first one. It starts with Batman pursuing the Joker on a high-speed chase. The Joker activates a hidden barrier to sudden comes right out of the street to prevent the Batmobile from proceeding any further. It rams into the barrier, but luckily the Batmobile has its own air bags so Batman is safe from the collision. The Joker appears to be the winner as he drives off. Batman’s airbag deflated and the OnStar operator immediately contacts him and asks if he wants an ambulance, Batman however is fine and asked the operator to contact the police department to aid his chase. The Joker believing he’s as free as a bird immediately stops when he finds the Batmobile blocking the road along with a few police cars blocking the Joker’s car from behind. The Joker throws a tantrum that his escape has been foiled, ending with Batman saying “He’ll never learn”. This one I have no problem compared to the previous one, so there’s nothing to nitpick here. Just a good old car chase with the all time favorite villain of the Batman franchise.

This next commercial mentions the internet access the OnStar feature has to offer. As Batman drives down the highway he say the green light show that’s being created by the Riddler. The light show forms the question “Who has Batmail?” with the question mark resembling the Riddler’s logo. Batman access his e-mail and his car’s computer reads out “Riddle me this: What does a river and money have in common?” which Batman immediately knows the answer is bank. Which we see the Riddler and his henchmen raid the Gotham Bank vault. Right before he starts to harvest some lettuce, Batman takes out two henchmen and the Riddler ends up getting trip over by Batman’s grappling hook. The bank raid becomes a failure and all is well. Luckily Batman is such a wiz at riddles other wise he wouldn’t have been able to stop the Riddler in any of the crimes he tries to commit. I also like how this commercial reflects the movie Batman Forever, except maintaining the same style from the first two movies. This is the closet we have to a what would have been like if Tim Burton was allowed to do a Batman 3.

This time we see the Penguin riding in his own chopper, trying to demolish the Batmobile with his ammo. Batman activates his OnStar feature to phone Vicky Vale(the photographer woman from the original movie). He informs her that he’s going to be late, and the commercial ends with the Batmobile appearing to be toppled with scraps of metal from a radio tower. The commercial ends with a caption that says see how it ends at OnStar.com. Well that’s the problem, it’s no longer on their original website. Since this ad is 12 years old, the option to watch the ending to this commercial is no longer available to the public. Not that it would matter, cause if Batman can get rid of the Penguin’s remote transmitter from the second movie, then he can surely survive his air raid.

For this one, Batman receives a video feed of Alfred(which is archive footage from Batman & Robin) informing him that he suited up the Batmobile for him. Everything he needs from air bags to knowing where he’s at is all located on the OnStar button. So Batman drives off to do his usual night patrol in the city. It’s likely that they did hire Michael Gough to dub his lines for this commercial. Cause while it’s archive footage from the most recent Batman film at the time, it is no doubt the one and only Michael Gough reprising his role as Alfred for one last time before Michael Caine takes over in Batman Begins.

The sixth and final commercial is nothing special, just Batman driving his Batmobile and calling Commissioner Gordon that he’s on his way to the police station. Along with a narrative on what the OnStar system can do for you and your car. Along with the mentioning of a contest to appear as an extra in the next Batman movie. Curious so did the winner get to be an extra for Batman Begins, cause at that point in time it was still unknown when the next Batman movie will ever get released. But I’m sure that person did get to be an extra in that film, unlike the winner for the Nintendo Power magazine’s contest that would guarantee he or she to be an extra in the Mask 2, but never did as it became the not as good Son of the Mask movie.

So that’s all of the commercials, only sixth were made and I have to say they were very well done. They did a good job with the stock footage as well as assemble some actors that either look like their counter parts or don’t. But that doesn’t matter, cause the ads are very awesome for OnStar commercials. For next week I’ll be talking about Looney Tunes on Nickeldeon.

Washington Dollar Face

He looks good on paper.

Since this guy had no given name in the commercial let us just call him the Washington Dollar Face. Which is pretty much what this commercial is about, a guy with the face of the one dollar bill Washington. Throughout the commercial he expresses what he thinks about the new dollar coin which has the face of the famous Lemhi Shoshone woman Sacagawea carrying her infant son Jean Baptiste Charbonneau, instead of the first president himself. This decision doesn’t bother him one bit as he comments he has places to go and places to be. Then we see him at a night club, scuba diving, and paying a toll at a freeway toll. Which of course he uses the golden dollar for the toll as well as a vending machine as depicted above. He ends the commercial by commenting he looks good on paper. Considering the fact you get to see his whole face on a bill  instead of a profile as depicted on the quarter. There was only one commercial made for this character(from what I know). And it just disappeared less than a less back in the year 2000 when the golden dollar was introduced. I never hear anyone talk about it to my surprise, which is why it’s a forgotten advertisement since Washington Dollar Face hasn’t been seen for the past 11 years.

Since than I’m surprised they didn’t make a series of these commercials. Cause I can totally see Washington Dollar Face work at an office space along with Jefferson, Lincoln, Hamilton, Jackson, Grant, Franklin, McKinney, Cleveland, Madison, Chase(Civil War Treasurer), & Wilson. And throughout all of the commercials there be money jokes, puns, and arguments revolving on coins vs. bills for money. But alas those type of commercials don’t exist(from what I know). Ever since the introduction of the Sacagawea dollar coin, it was at first commonly used then within a few years you rarely see the coin any more. I have a few of the coins my self along with its predecessor the Susan B. Anthony coin, and a JFK half-dollar. Some believe the dollar coin first appeared in the late 20th Century, but after some research the dollar coin has been in existence since 1794! So our nation had dollar coins for more than two centuries, it’s just the bills are more commonly used and quarters are often mistaken for the shape of the dollar coin. In recent years the golden dollar has been revived with deceased Presidents and First Ladies. Also recent U.S. mint commercials are convincing people how more eco-friendly dollar coins are to dollar bills. Which is true cause a coin is more durable than a paper bill. Not sure if we’ll be seeing more dollar coins than dollar bills in the future, but I’ll be accepting whatever is said to be worth a dollar.

So to wrap this article up, here’s the commercial itself below. Tune in next week for an article on the Pogs mascot: Pogman!